The Super Italian Bros
by Apocalyptic Lore
Summary: In a wild plumbing incident, siblings Feliciano and Lovino find themselves sucked into a world muddled with mushrooms, Koopas, and all around abnormality. When Princess Potato himself is kidnapped... Well, chaos is likely to erupt in the Mushroom Kingdom
1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Lovino~!" Two young men are seen, garnished in simple overalls and cotton shirts, making their way down the street and toward an old house. Rather... one is skipping, the other is trudging... The younger one, whose hair curl bounces and sways as he skips, pokes his brother's shoulder a few brief times before giving a downed expression. "We can't be late! It's our first day on the job! And besides, Mr. Gupta is waiting!"

Lovino, the elder of the siblings, simply spits upon the ground and crosses his arms over his chest, readjusting the green cap atop his head. "Bullshit, Feli. All he said on the phone was "bathtub" and hung up the phone! That's not an assignment! It's a prank call!"

Feliciano shakes his head fervently, reaching up to ring the doorbell. "Mm-mm. That can't be, Lovi. After all, he sounded pretty genuine to me..."

"Because you have _such_ good judgement..."

As the melody of the doorbell resonates around them, the Italians step backwards, wearing a smile and a scowl as the door is swung open. Revealed is a somewhat short man, bearing tanned skin and a rather blank expression. He nods mysteriously at the two and ushers them inside with a light brush of the shoulder.

"... Nice place." Lovino gives a snort and glances idly around, wandering toward the primary bathroom. "Come on, Feli. Let's just get this shit over with... I still can't believe I let you talk me into this stupid job..."

"But it's gonna be fun, Lovi! You'll see!" Feliciano practically dances into the bathroom, approaching the broken bathtub with a wrench in hand and an eager twitch in his hands. "Hmm... Wonder what's wrong with it? Gupta didn't say much... Oh! Lovi, hand me a plunger!"

Lovino stares incredulously at his brother with a slightly open mouth. "... a plunger... For a _bathtub?_ Are you out of your freakin' mind? Wait, don't answer that." Nonetheless, he does as told, albeit begrudgingly. "You're gonna get us fired, just like last time."

"Ve~! That wasn't my fault! You cussed out our boss because he took you to a wurstfest!"

"Sh-Shut up and use your damn plunger!"

Feliciano sighs and begins to hum a little tune, placing the plunger beside the tub and peering down the drain and letting out a tiny gasp of alarm. "L-Lovino! Come look at this! There's a mushroom in the drain... Oh! A bunch of flowers, too..." What on earth could Gupta possibly be doing to get garden growth in his drain? Unless he worked a gardener, perhaps, but nonetheless!

"You really ARE out of your f- gah!" Lovino gives the manliest of shrieks (because he is totally manly...) and stumbles backwards, collapsing onto the his bottom upon the tile flooring. His brother currently has a grip on a mushroom, white and red and speckled, and is tugging it authoritatively, though to no avail. "Eugh, get your hands off that! It's probably grimy and nasty anyway!"

"Hey, who're you calling nasty?"

"..._ Holy crap!_" Lovino's eyes widen like saucers, mouth now hanging wide open in absolute skepticism. He was dreaming. Mushrooms couldn't talk. Of course not. Why on earth would-

"Lovino~!" Feliciano's arm gives a sudden jerk downward, hand hidden by the drain as his arm is pulled further inside. "I'm too young to do pipework! I surrender! White flag, white flag!" His tomato red hat is shaken off in his struggles, and lands neatly at his sibling's feet.

Lovino stares awestruck for another moment or so before reality settles in. "I'm coming, F-Feli!" Despite near sobbing out of fear, the elder Italian clutches his brother's free hand and desperately pulls, though lessens his strength upon the sound of cracking. "N-Nobody takes my brother! Especially n-not some mushroom b-bas-"

Before he can so much as complete his sentence, Feliciano's body is sucked in, and Lovino's unfortunate self along with it.

When Feliciano's eyes open once again, he blinks a few times in confusion and sees for a moment nothing but a blurred array of colors and shimmers. What happened? Where is he? It certainly seems different than Gupta's humble abode... At last, his vision clears, and he can freely view the marvels around him as he pleases. He lies smack dab in the center of a large ornate room, tall and towering and above all else, clean. Why, hundreds of maids must live here, for never has the Italian man ever seen such cleanliness. A large staircase is settled not too far from his current position upon the ground... "Ve?" Wait, where is his beloved older brother? "Lovino?" he calls. No answer.

"Well, this isn't going to do!" Feliciano hurriedly rises to his feet and steps toward the staircase, searching for some sign of life. "Lovino? Lovino~..." He marches his way up each step, treading lightly to avoid getting too much dirt on the cleanly polished flooring beneath his feet. "Ve, Lovino! Where are y-?"

A flash of movement suddenly catches his eye, and the Italian cowers in his spot, knees quaking. "I'm innocent! A virgin! A Catholic! I surrender!"

"Calm down, calm down..."

That voice... Surely it cannot be...? Feliciano's head lifts, eyes falling upon the newcomer with a gleam of total shock. Yes, sure enough, it's him. He'd recognize that manly figure and slicked hair anywhere.

"... Ne, Ludwig, why are you wearing a pink dress?"

A/N: Mostly just a preface. I wrote this story long ago, and only just now decided to continue it. I cannot assure you how often I will update, but I'll try. I haven't uploaded ANYTHING in a really, really long time... R&R~


	2. Chapter 2

Ludwig's eyes narrow slightly at the short Italian man, and he folds his arms over his chest in vain effort to make his reddening blush die down. He hadn't lost a bet with Gilbert and agreed to wear this dress. Not at all... Hmrph. "... W-Well, that's not important. Who are you? Why are you in my castle? Here to spy on me?"

Feliciano gazes up at Ludwig and drops to his knees, bowing in respect. "Ve~! I'm sorry, Princess! I didn't mean to... Well..." In all actuality, he hadn't the intention of spying, but he has absolutely no idea how he even ended up here in the first place. Perhaps he IS a spy and just never knew it? "Wait, you know who I am! It's me, Feliciano!"

Ludwig's brow creases, eyes scrutinizingly flitting over the Italian's body. "Never seen you before in my life. Now, listen... Are you or are you not one of Browser's spies? You're not wearing a shell... But if you lie, we'll take you out by force! We've had far too many problems with those Koopas lately... Especially the-"

"Ve...? What's a Koopa?"

At such a ridiculous question, Ludwig's brows no longer crease, but rise in absolute disbelief. This man's either a convincing liar or knows nothing of this world, he tells himself. ""What's a Koopa"? Well... Just go with Roderich and you can discuss the enemy, and maybe even help us come up with a better war tactic."

The plumber eagerly nods his head, curiosity ultimately getting the better of him. Koopas? Princess Potato? A guy named "Browser"? Why, is there anything familiar in this world? Oh, look, he muses as he passes a flowerpot. What a beautiful flo- "G-Gyah! Luuuudwig~! Help!" Sure enough, even the flowers are obscure, and one has clamped its large mouth onto Feliciano's sleeve. "I'm too young to be eaten by a flower!"

"I-I'm coming!" Ludwig hurriedly flattens out his dress and leaps over the railing, plummeting down, down, down, until his feet plant themselves firmly on top of the flowerpot, squishing the plant and trampling it back down into the dirt. "... You should be more careful around flowers. One wrong step and you could find yourself falling into oblivion..." His sapphire gaze grows somewhat distant for a moment, though it is soon reverted to its normal stare, and falls upon the Italian again. "... I have some things to attend to..." With these final musings, the blonde "princess" makes his departure and disappears down the main corridor.

Feliciano blinks in confusion for a moment before shrugging it off and turning to a man clad in a rather plain white suit, who stands a few feet away with a gentle smile on his face. Roderich. "Ve~, Roderich! You're here too...?"

"... Excuse me? "Here"?" Roderich tugs lightly at his collar and clears his throat. "Well, yes, I am technically "here", but..."

"Hm. Roderich?"

"Yes?"

"Have you seen another guy who looks like me? But with darker hair? Ve, and a sailor's mouth?"

Roderich's head shakes with a negatory. "I'm afraid not... But what about you? Never heard of a Koopa? Where have you been all your life?"

"Hmm..." Feliciano taps his chin in thought, screwing up his face as his mind does its best to get the gears working. "Well... I'm not even sure where I am now, so... Earth? Venice...? Roderich... Ve, Where am I?"

Pushing his glasses authoritatively back up his nose, Roderich stares at the boy inquisitively for a second before responding. "Why, you're in the Mushroom Kingdom, of course. You've already met Princess Potato, I see... I am Roderich, Ludwig's adviser and personal servant."

"Ah! Mushroom!" Feliciano's green eyes widen, face lighting up in remembrance of the day's earlier events. "I followed a mushroom down here. And... And he could talk! He seemed really interesting..."

"... A talking mushroom...?" Granted, that description could fit a number of people, but... Roderich's chest sinks a bit, and he can't help but grimace. "Did he wear a white and red cap...?"

"Si, that's him! Do you know him?"

"... You could say that..." Roderich narrows his eyes distastefully for a minute before returning his attention to the newcomer. "Well, Mister Feliciano... Is there anything else you would like to know about?"

"Hmm... What's a Koopa?"

"A turtle, of sorts. But... They usually have a knack of attacking people. The majority of their species works for Browser... Sneaky little buggers, really. I should know, I was once married to one."

"A Koopa...?" Roderich had married a Koopa...? Well, that certainly sounded... Interesting. "Was she nice?"

"Hmph._ He_ was not worth my time. But I'd rather not dwell on that subject. Is that all?"

Feliciano continues to rethink all he has learned thus far. "Browser?"

~w~w~w~

Meanwhile, on another end of the Mushroom Kingdom, Lovino Vargas finds himself in a bit of a pickle himself. "Stupid fratello and his stupid... Stupidity!" He curses, kicks, and altogether does things that aren't particularly becoming, but these are the least of his worries at the moment. "Feliciano!" he calls forth, cupping his hands to his mouth. No reply. "Feli, if you're really there, I'm going to kick your ass!"

As though on queue, the bushes to his north rattle and shake, leaves rustling against one another and creating quite a ruckus. Lovino flinches in surprise and grabs the nearest object, a small flower plucked from the earth, holding it out as a makeshift weapon and shakily standing his ground.

"S-Stop! Don't shoot! I didn't do anything yet!"

"... Don't shoot...?" He holds a flower. _A flower._ Nonetheless, two large hands rise out of the bush in surrender, and said shrub begins to tremble in fear. Lovino shakily stands his ground in turn, and holds the flower out with a somewhat haughty air about him. "B-Better stay away, bush-freak! I have a f-flower! And I'm not afraid to use it!" No response. "Come out, y-you coward!"

The bush freezes for the briefest of moments, unmoving as though deep in thought. "... Okay, okay..." One more rustle of leaves, and a form slightly larger than himself crawls out of the bushes and makes itself fully visible.

"... My God, you've got to be kidding me..."

"Eh? Who are you?" Standing before the Italian man is another; a tanned man with a red turtle shell upon his back with a little yellow tail poking out from the underside. A little yellow cap sits atop his head, and poking out from it are little waves and curls of mocha brown hair. "Potato or scone?"

Lovino stares at him, absolutely perplexed for a second before shaking his head incredulously. "Antonio, what the flying fuck are you talking about? And I knew you liked turtles, but for crying out loud! You look like an idiot!"

"... Hm? How do you know my name...? Are you a Scone after all? But I don't recognize you..." Antonio's emerald green eyes scan over the Italian's body, head cocking slightly to the side in curiosity. A sudden smile lights up his tanned face. "You're pretty cute! Your cheeks are all pink and puffed out!"

"Sh-Shut up, you!" Lovino folds his arms over his overalls and darts his eyes away, face reddening further. "And don't even say that I look like a tomato, or I WILL shoot you." Okay, so that is a slightly empty threat, considering he only has a flower, but nonetheless!

Antonio stares blankly at the Italian with wide eyes. "... Can you hear my thoughts...?"

"No! Augh, even here, you're a predictable imbecile!" Throwing his arms up in the air, Lovino tosses the flower aside and collapses onto his bum in the grass, weaving his fingers through the green blades with a sigh. "I just need to find Feliciano and get the hell out of here..."

Antonio looks down upon the curious Italian before smiling again, sitting down in the grass beside him. "Well! I'll help you along the way, if you want! After all, I can't do a whole lot until my troop returns. And they just left, so it'll probably be a while before I find them back again. I can help you find... Feli-ci-ano..."

Lovino's heart aches slightly. He has technically only just met Antonio in this world. And already he's willing to help him out? "... I-I don't need your help..." He wants not pity, not assistance...

"Well I'm gonna come along anyway!" Antonio's eyes light up in friendliness. "Since you're obviously not from around here, I can show you around and protect you in the process! Whaddaya say?"

"I say you're out of your mind." Regardless, the elder Italian, nibbling his lower lip, holds out his hand. "... But I'll go along with it for now. Only if we lay down a few rules, though. No unnecessary hugging. No calling me a tomato. And no spazzing about how cute you seem to think I am. Deal?"

Antonio nods up and down vigorously and grabs the Italian's hand to shake it. "Deal!"

"Ouch! Holy crap, Antonio, let go!" Lovino hurriedly pulls his hand away and cradles it against his chest, teeth gritted and eyes clenched tight in pain. "What the hell? What's wrong with you?"

"Y-Your hand..." The Koopa's mouth drops open in shock, eyes almost filled with tears in surprise. "You're bleeding..."

"You burnt my hand!" Lovino wipes a few loose tears from his eyes and looks down upon his charred palm, which is now an ugly shade of dark red and dappled with bloody splotches.

"No, I didn't- ... Did I?"

"Maybe not on purpose, but my hand wasn't bloody before you touched me!"

Antonio's brows crease a bit, and his eyelids droop over glossy green eyes. They cannot touch skin-to-skin, huh? "M'sorry... I guess I'll have to find a pair of gloves... Well, let's get going! If we go quickly enough, we can stop by my old house and pick up some bandages for your hand, and some gloves for me. Let's go!" He stands, face beaming once again as though nothing had even happened. "Oh yeah, I never asked! What's your name?"

"... Lovino." The Italian rises to his feet and gives a mild blush, still nursing his hand against his chest. "Lovino Vargas."

A/N:Well, here's part 2. Introducing a bit of Princess Potato and Koopa!Antonio. Roderich isn't a specific character; consider him one of the mushroom people, but not part of the Toad squad. Let's see... Antonio cannot touch Lovino, skin to skin. Otherwise, just as in the games, "Luigi" will lose health by touching a Koopa. In this case, Lovino and Antonio. And yeah. Bowser has now become Browser. Take a wild guess who that is. |D 


	3. Chapter 3

"Nobody really knows for certain where Browser came from." Roderich leads Feliciano down the east wing of the castle, still explaining to him all of the different ways the Mushroom Kingdom is evidently different from his world. Of course, Roderich knows nothing of the world from which Feliciano derives, yet the Italian man is steadily questioning every little thing, this and that, and it is his inquiries which prompt further explanation. "He just sort of... showed up one day. Some people think he's an overgrown Koopa. Others believe that he is not one entity, but many. Take, for instance, his eyebrows. Could easily pass as caterpillars." Roderich cannot resist the tiny whisper of a smile that graces his lips, though it is gone almost as soon as it arrives. "All you need to worry about is making sure you stay out of our political business. You are welcome here at the castle however long you like or need. I think Ludwig has taken a bit of a liking to you..." He steps aside for a minute and whispers near-silently with another inhabitant of the castle- a guard, perhaps?

Feliciano takes this brief pause in the conversation to drift away, wandering down one of the corridors and allowing the various, odd decorations to lead him along. The walls are covered in pictures and portraits, paintings and photographs, all of different citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. "Ve~... Princess Ludwig sure does love his people!" In fact, the young Italian dares suspect that the Ludwig in this world is just as caring and compassionate as in his own world.

Silent as a mouse, he slinks along the hall and turns the corner, coming face-to-face with a pair of towering mahogany doors, easily twice his height. _I wonder what's in here?_Head tilting slightly, his arms dart outward and shove the large, heavy doors open with a large sum of effort. The doors part to reveal none other than Princess Potato himself, hunched over a square table adorned with tiny figurines of trees, turtles, and mushrooms. A board game? But he remains there all alone... In fact, if Feliciano isn't mistaken, he looks almost... Lonely. Hopeless. Time to throw around some of that infamous Italian charm.

"Luuudwig~!" he calls forth in a slightly sing-song voice, waving his right hand around in the air to and fro. Ludwig's figure (rather, lack thereof, as it is further accentuated in the dress that he most certainly DID NOT have a figure) flinches in spark and hurriedly straightens its posture.

"O-Oh, it's just you, newcomer..." Ludwig clears his throat somewhat awkwardly and turns away for a minute, mentally cursing himself out and blushing a furious red before shoving a box of something-or-other-suspiscious under the table. "U-Um... Did you need something?"

Feliciano shook his head, giving a gentle grin. "Nope! Just thought I should get to know you more now that we're gonna be living together! Ah, so! My name is Feliciano Vargas! I'm from Italy, my favorite foods are pasta and pizza and cheese, my grandfather owns a winery and my older brother is a plumber, just like me! Ah... If you ever have any piping problems, I'm your guy!"

"E-Erm... That's..." It isn't long before Ludwig finds himself totally clueless about what on earth this newcomer is talking about. Plumber? Winery? ... Pasta? "Well, I'm sure you would make a very good... Plumber... And if you like food so much… well, feel free to use our kitchen. But... I'm trying to figure out a battle plan, and then I'm going to work out for a few hours, so... Err..."

"Understood, Cap'n!" Feliciano's hand rises to his forehead in a salute, and a slightly determined smirk grows on his face. "I have just the battle plan for you!"

Blue eyes widen in surprise. So, is that a plumber's specialty? To establish tactics for penetrating enemy lines? "You're hired. Come here." His fingers ghost over the board, picking up a few little mushroom figurines and placing them on the far side of the table. "So, these mushroom folk represent our forces. Browser's are represented by the Koopa folk. Now, Browser has about five times our number in destructive forces, but if we premeditate our battle plan, we could potentially take out their flank forces from afar, or maybe skirting past their forces altogether..."

"I have just the thing to help you!" Piping up with a plan is none other than Feliciano himself, now pressed closer to the table to examine the board. "Take the mushroom," he says, picking up a blue piece, "And slice it into thin slivers."

Ludwig's eyes widen in horror, though this does not deter the Italian, and he continues on. "Ve~. Then, put them in the red sauce, and mix together with some of this!" He pulls a little bit of artificial grass off of the table and sets it on the mushroom's head. "All you need to do then is put it on top of some boiled-"

"Th-That's enough! I don't want to hear anymore!" Does he really expect Princess Ludwig to just... To slice up his citizen, mix the blood with the mushroom-meat, and boil them in grass? Because, really, that's inhumane on so many levels that even the toughened Princess begins to feel sick to his stomach. "What kind of place did you say you were from?"

"Venice!"

Before Feliciano is given any further chance to explain, the carpeted floor beneath their feet begins to shake and tremor, and crumbles of rock and plaster tumble from the ceiling. "Ve...? What's going on, Ludwig?"

"Oh no... Not again... I swear, this is the fourth time this week... Doesn't he ever learn?...?" A small, irritated sigh passes Ludwig's lips. "Well, I guess it can't be helped. Feliciano, go get me my whip*. It's under my mattress, in the next room over."

"But what's go-"

"Just go!"

Hesitantly giving a nod, Feliciano backs hurriedly out of the room and takes off full-speed down the hall a ways to the next visible door, passing urgent mushrooms, guards, and Roderich on the way. "Ah! Roderich!"

"Y-Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"The castle is under attack. Browser's-" His voice catches for a minute. "I'm sorry, I can't talk right now! I need to go!" Giving a brief bow, Roderich withdraws a piano key from his belt and charges into the war room and out of sight, leaving Feliciano to contemplate on his own what's happening. So... This "Browser" fellow is attacking? Such a shame that he left his white flag behind...

Shrugging to himself, he enters the bedroom and weeds through the layers of blankets and sheets atop the mattress, tugging out what he assumes to be a whip. "Hmm... Wonder why this is in his mattress...? Oh well!" Nonchalantly brushing it off, he loops the whip around his shoulder and hurries back down the hall, clearly oblivious to the danger at hand.

"Okay, Ludwig~! I got you your-" A shuttered gasp passes his lips. "Ludwig!"

There before him stands the infamous Browser, waving a bodybag around in the air and smirking in victory. His large brows are knitted together in concentration, and a thin rope hangs loosely around his waist, which he promptly gives two little tugs. "We got him! Finally! Francis, tug me back up!"

"W-What did you do with the Princess?" Feliciano manages to keep a steady tone, despite the fear implied by his stutters. "You'd better give him back! I-I'll make you some pasta~! Do you like pasta, Arthur?"

"W-What?" Browser turns around to face the Italian, and it is in this moment that Feliciano gets his best view of the villain. Thick brows, disorderly blonde hair dyed red at the tips, a massive shell upon his back... The true epitome of fear itself in the Mushroom Kingdom. "How do you know my true name? I've never even seen you before. Who the devil are you supposed to be?"

"F-Feliciano..." The Vargas man fiddles with the whip in his fingers, green eyes darting toward the stone floor in intimidation. "U-Um... Stand b-back! Give me Ludwig!" He lashes out with the whip in a sudden movement, and jerks his hand in a way, just so...

... And, unfortunately, winds up entangling his own body in the thin ropes. "Hmph." Arthur smirks a smug smirk and folds his arms over his chest, slowly rising from the ground due to the ropes tied around his waist. Up above, somebody tugs Browser up into the sky from an airship. "Well, _Feliciano,_I'm afraid you're out of luck. He is going to become my-"

"Ve! Please, just let me make you some pasta and let Princess Potato go! I know your cooking is yucky, so you must want some good food!"

"S-Seriously!" The Englishman suddenly glances down upon the Italian with a scowl, readjusting the weight of the body bag- appropriately, a sack of potatoes. How ironic. "How do you kn-? I mean, my cooking tastes perfectly fine, I don't know WHAT you're talking about!" Note to self: figure out from where this shady little fellow spies.

"But, the last time I had them, they made me throw up, and then I was seeing unicorns for three days…"

"No matter! Now shut up and let me get away with your princess!"

Feliciano's face suddenly lightens up, brows rising in a gentle smile. "Mm, okay!" A lingering hesitation, time passes… and he realizes what exactly it was he just said. "… Ah, wait! I meant-" His eyes flit upward at the airship, a soft cry of alarm escaping his lips. "Come back! Ludwig!" A cackle echoes into the night, and it takes mere seconds before the shelled Briton disappears behind tight wooden doors upon the vessel.

"He's gone… Ludwig is gone…" Feliciano sinks to his knees, the chilly stone flooring causing a small tremor to tingle his spine. "And it's all my fault… Ve…" Silence befalls the guards and other such staff, broken only by a single clearing of the throat by Roderich, and the shaken sobs of Feliciano. "I'm glad they didn't take me, but… But Princess Potato…"

"Erm, well…" Roderich awkwardly tugs at his collar, fixing the purple mushroom hat atop his head and leaning down to pick up his glasses, which had fallen to the floor and bent in the struggle. "Mr. Vargas… If I could…" He approaches the weeping Italian and places his gauche glasses on his nose once again. "All hope is not lost. Ludwig always manages to escape. This happens pretty regularly, actually. That's why there's a permanent sunroof in the castle; nobody ever wants to fix the damages. Although… There has never before been an airship…" Hmm… Yes, that could prove a bit problematic…

"What… What can we do? I want to get him back! He is my friend, and your princess!" Nevermind wherever the queen and king are supposed to be, Ludwig was the obvious ruler, despite his princess-ly rule. With Roderich's assistance, he untangles the whip from around his body and tosses it aside. He has no use for such an item. "I'm… I'm not a very good fighter, but I'll try…"

Roderich's violet eyes widen in surprise, but pleasantly nonetheless. "If you want, there are plenty of things just lying around that could be of help. Why don't you come with me for a moment? I need to get back to my piano soon, but I'll hand you over to somebody else and have them explain everything more clearly."

Nodding his head in agreement, Feliciano rises slowly to his feet and wipes his eyes free of their watery covers. "S-Sí… okay."

~w~w~w~

"You used to live… in a mushroom?"

Spain returns his attention to Lovino with a bubbly nod, rubbing the back of his neck. "I wasn't always part of the Scone Alliance. Used to live in the Mushroom Kingdom… Back before Browser… Hmm, I wonder if this place still has that Goomba problem…?"

Lovino's hands shoot up, insisting that Antonio stop talking (for once in his sorry Koopa life). "Okay, shut up for a minute. One, who is Browser? Some computer nerd?"

Antonio's face falls slightly in confusion. "… Computer…?"

"Ugh, never mind…" Lovino sighs, mentally smacking himself. "Two; how can your house possibly have a gumbo problem? Can your stove not make gumbo? Or are you just that incapable?"

"Oh, silly Lovi! Not "gumbo"! Goomba! You know, little brown guys with teeth and no arms?"

"Wouldn't that be a comb?"

"… What's a comb?"

If only there were a desk here, as Lovino's forehead seriously needs one. "Never mind, again. Duh, of course you don't use a comb. You're hair's always a freakin' mess…" Shaking his head in dismay, he pushes past the front door of the mushroom hut, inwardly cursing this godforsaken wonderland out. "I feel like an effin' Smurf… Mushroom house indeed…"

What Lovino DOESN'T expect to welcome him inside are "little brown guys with teeth and no arms"… Goombas. However, when Antonio had mentioned having a Goomba problem, he had made the understatement of the year. Goombas litter the floor, lounge in the furniture, fill every little nook and cranny… And, as Lovino stares with a twitching eye, a Goomba chomps itself down on his head, little teeth hurting far worse than they should have. "Ack! Damn it, you stupid- flippin'- get this thing offa me! It hurts as much as you do!"

"Ah, so it burns you too?"

"I meant mentally! But, yes, it'll burn! So pull it off, you &$!%#!"

Antonio releases a small sigh and shakes his head, smiling softly at his cute little friend's outburst. Disregarding cuteness for the time being, he reaches out and pokes either side of the Goomba's face, earning a gruff giggle from the little creature. He continues to poke and wriggle it with his finger, tickling it with an equally wide grin on his face. "These things are actually pretty cute too! Guess that's why I never called an exterminator…" After tickling it a bit more, Antonio wrenches the animal off of Lovino's head and continues to coo and tickle it, more grunts and deep laughs bursting forth from the little thing.

"You idiot!" Lovino reaches up to lightly dab at his head, thankful that his hat had prevented any genuine burning. Unfortunately, the Goomba HAD managed to poke two identical holes in said hat, but those can be repaired. "These things must breed like rabbits or something! You can't tell me you really lived with this many pests in your house?"

"B-But they aren't pests…" A slightly hurt face appears on Antonio's tanned mug, lip pooching out a little. "They're adorable! Sure, they bite sometimes, but they're…" He sighs and sets the Goomba down, pointing toward a doorway across the room. "My old bedroom's that way. Come on, let's go!" He reaches out to take the Italian's hand, though hurriedly pulls his arm back to his own side at the painful sight of the burn marks that now marred Lovino's hand. "It'll probably scar… I'm sorry…"

"What…?" Lovino raises an eyebrow in confusion at the sudden apology, but he soon realizes what this is all about. "O-Oh, it's… it's, uh, fine. I mean, no, it's not. But I'm not gonna hold a grudge if you hold up your end of the deal."

"Really? Oh, thank you, Lovino~!" It takes nearly all of Antonio's willpower to avoid glomping the poor Italian right then and there. He ushers Lovino along and makes room for them to walk by lightly shooing the Goombas away; begrudgingly, they comply. "Ah, let's see... I'm gonna grab a pair of gloves and fix up your hand. Wait right here~!"

"Ah, wait-!" He reaches out and, thankfully, avoid touching Antonio's skin by grabbing a fistfull of his shirt. "I-I mean..." The Italian clears his throat and blushes slightly, scowling his typical scowl. "These creepy Goombas are gonna kill me, so you'd better let me in."

One of Antonio's eyebrows rises in confusion, but realization strikes after a little while, and his smile increases in luminosity. "Ah, I see... Okay, come on in! No Goombas in here. I always put out a smell that they hated, and it keeps 'em out most of the time."

"What smell?"

"Oh, just some Mushroom blood."

"... Mushroom blood?" Can mushrooms even bleed? Of course, Lovino has yet to witness the talking mushroom his brother had mentioned before they had gotten split up... "Uh, sure, Antonio..."

Antonio simply smiles all the same and digs around in his drawer, tossing things carelessly onto the floor that he has no need for at the moment. _What a messy turtle... _Lovino thinks to himself, snorting. Absently, he begins to pick up Antonio's belongings on the floor, folding the clothes and stacking everything else. Hey, somebody has to keep this place nice, even if this is no longer his abode.

"Ah! Here they are..." Antonio shuts the drawer and pulls on a pair of white gloves, fixing them in a few places before turning toward Lovino again, reaching out to poke him on the nose. "Heh heh, it works!"

"D-Don't touch me! I don't care if it works or not..." Great. Just great. All this meant was that Antonio could have his good old jolly fun by annoying the hell out of him. "Whatever. Just get me a cloth so I can wrap my hand and I'll be set."

Giving an understanding nod, Antonio shuffles around in the stack Lovino has made and removes an old green shirt. "This oughta work..." He pulls at the bottom hem of the shirt and manages to rip off quite a bit. "Give me your hand..."

Lovino bites back a snide remark and does as he's told, eyes narrowed in distaste. What was it with Antonio and touching him all the time? "Done yet?"

"Almost..." The Spaniard continues to wrap the cloth around his burn until the red marks are completely covered. He then ties a knot at the end and releases his hold on the hand, grinning back up at Lovino. "There! Ah... now what? Oh yeah, we need to find your brother, right?"

"I guess so... Hey, Antonio? Didn't you say you had a troop to get back to?"

"Oh, they can wait. I'm just one of, like, fifty in my division anyway." The Koopa gives a brief shrug. "You should join us sometime. Then we could be together twenty-four/seven!"

"Not on your life." Lovino huffs a little and gazes back at the door. "... Anyway, it'll be getting dark soon. We should find Feliciano quickly. Let's go."

Antonio cracks a smile again and nods his head, standing up and opening the door. The majority of the Goombas are sleeping, much to Lovino's relief. "Alright... Well, I have no idea where to start, but... I'll try my best!"

At his enthusiasm, even Lovino cannot help the brief smirk that graces his lips. "Lead the way."

_To be continued..._

***Whip- ... I've been watching too much HetaOni... |D**

**Anyway... A bit more filling in the plot here. Antonio and Lovino are to set off on their adventure. Roderich is to lead Feliciano to his supposed destiny. And... Ludwig is stuffed inside a potato bag bodybag, being dragged off by Arthur for interrogation and other such evil uses. Woohoo~... Eh...**

**Let's aim for 13 reviews, at the very least! It will certainly give me more motivation (and the various comments I;ve already gotten have been quite enjoyed).**


	4. Chapter 4

"Right this way..." Roderich ushers Feliciano along, down the primary corridor and toward a pair of regal white doors. "She's in here. Just be careful. And don't mention anything about pans, yaoi, or albinos. Lord knows what she'll do..." Shuddering, he opens the doors and pokes his head in with a gentle smile. "Elizabeta, dear? There's someone here who needs to talk to you..."

A young woman's voice resonates down the hollow hall, bouncing off the walls and eventually echoing beyond. "Ah, Roderich! Hello... Ah, could you give me a minute?"

"Of course. Just let me know when you're ready." He shuts the doors promptly and turns to face Feliciano once again, clearing his throat in that habitual way of his. "She'll only be a second; my guess is that she's reading one of her books again..."

"What kind of books?"

Roderich remains steadfastly silent, nibbling his lower lip. "Err, you're better off no knowing. Bit odd that she reads them and is still straight enough to marry me, but..."

"Ve~? You're married?" Feliciano's eyes widen considerably. "How sweet!"

"Yes, well... Just because I was once married to a Koopa doesn't mean I can't remarry, right? Our relationship is a bit unorthodox, but we're both happy enough." The Austrian's eyes soften in the slightest bit before blinking rapidly. "Anyway, I'll leave you here for the time being. Remember; no pans, no albinos, and no yaoi."

"What's ya-" But at that moment, the doors part to reveal a young woman, clad in a simple green dress with a green mushroom hat atop her flowing locks of brown hair.

Her eyes, a vivid green, dance over the pair with curiosity before settling upon her husband. "Roderich? Who's this? And what did you need?"

"This is Feliciano Vargas... He wants to save the Princess."

"You mean Ludwig was stolen by Browser again?" Elizabeta sighs and rolls her eyes, though a grin slowly spreads across her face. Ah, yes, Ludwig and Arthur, together within an entanglement of- "E-Erm, right... What's the problem, then? What does he need from me?"

Feliciano steps forward, albeit hesitant to say anything in front of her after Roderich's odd warnings. Said Austrian nods his head at the two of them before striding away to take part in piano practices for that afternoon. "Mrs. Eliza," Feliciano says softly, swallowing. "My friend Ludwig has been kidnapped... I wanna get him back, but I'm not from this world, so I don't even know where to begin...Ve... And on top of it all, I'm not..." He isn't... brave. Intuitive. Tactical. All in all, he is a failure as a man when it comes to everything required for going on a quest. Truly, is this but a lost cause?

"Nonsense." Elizabeta narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest before taking him by the hands and dragging him rather forcefully into her room, shutting the doors urgently behind them. "Come on and let's have a look at you. Let's see... You're scrawny, which could be a problem... You said you were a plumber? I thought plumbers were supposed to be chubby? And have mustaches...?"

"Ve... Wait...!" She knows what a plumber is? Yet, the others seemed so confused...

"I'm assuming you came in through Gupta's shower drain?" Elizabeta clicks her tongue, giving a small smile at his incredulity. "I used to be his roommate. Told him to get that thing fixed a long time ago. Guess he never did, since you're here." Well, at least she knew she wasn't totally losing her mind. "Besides, I like it better here anyway. The yaoi is more interesting... And Roderich and I are still married, here. Not to mention the fact that Gilbert's nailed into the ground in this world. Serves the little punk right..."

"Elizabeta...? Oh! I remember you now!" His face brightens considerably, eyes wide with childlike wonder. "You worked at the daycare I used to be sent to! As an assistant... You haven't aged at all though! You were sixteen when you helped out there, right?"

Elizabeta smiles, a tiny blush of flattery dusting her cheeks. "Well, in this world, people age differently. Slowly." She wanders over to her bedside table, pulling out the single oak-wood drawer and shuffling around in its contents for something in particular. "Let's see... So, I'm assuming you don't know anything about the Mushroom Kingdom yet? Where should I even start...?"

Uncuffing his sleeve habitually, Feliciano pipes up briefly as a sudden thought comes to mind. "Well, I know some. I know about the war... sort of... Oh! And I was almost eaten by a flower!"

"A flower? Must've been a Piranha Plant... Nasty little pests, if you ask me..." She sighs before withdrawing a book, flipping through a number of pages before revealing one in particular to the Italian man before her. "Like this?"

"Ve, that's it!" Upon the page is a sketchy, though well-done, drawing of something similar to what had attacked Feliciano. "Did you draw that?"

"W-Well, yes... But I'm just practicing. I plan on becoming the first illustrator of this world. All of their books were lost a few years ago during the Great Space Awakening, but that's not important. Anyway, I created this book with the intention of figuring out every little aspect of this world. I figure you could use this more than I could at this point, since I've been here for so long... So, here. Take this with you wherever you go."

Feliciano reaches out and takes the heavy book, nearly falling over from the sheer mass of it all. "G-Grazie... But I need to find Ludwig, first and foremost..." He gives a little, affirmative salute, though taking one hand off of the books proves to be quite a mistake, as his other hand cannot support it and he winds up falling face-first into the floor. "Ouch..."

Raising an eyebrow at his peculiarity, Elizabeta ignores him for the time being and continues to mess around with the various items around her bedroom. Eh, he can take care of himself, she tells herself. "Anyway, you're gonna need a few things to protect yourself. Most of these can be found all throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, and beyond, but you'll need to start with something. I had been saving these for some other occasion, but I think you'll find them more useful."_ Especially if it's for the sake of a guy going out on a noble quest to save his damsel in distress. _"For starters, take a look at this." She reaches up to a high shelf latched onto her wall and pulls down a cardboard box, removing the lid with care and pulling out a small, delicate red-and-yellow flower. Noticing Feliciano flinch in alarm, she gives a tiny laugh and holds it out to him. "Don't worry. It won't try to eat you, like the other one did. Here, take it. Just don't try to eat it and you'll be fine."

Despite his initial hesitation, Feliciano takes the flower from her with cautious hands, sniffing it curiously. Would this be good in pasta...? Probably not. "Thank you... What does it do?"

"It's not just a regular flower. It will help you when your heart needs a fiery push... Or something else corny like that, I don't remember exactly I wrote down. Look it up yourself sometime. Anyway... there's also this." She withdraws a fat, stubby mushroom from the box and hands it over. "Don't eat this yet either. When you're in a pickle, you'll find this thing may make your courage grow."

"Courage...?" Courage cannot grow if it doesn't exist previously... "But... I don't have any courage..." His eyes droop a bit in dismay. "If I did, I would've been able to stop Browser..."

Elizabeta gazes upon him with pitying, sympathetic eyes, and places her hand softly against his shoulder. "Enough of that. You have enough courage to want to get your lov- I mean, your Princess back. That is courage." Her hand digs into the box once again, pulling out one last item; a shining star, glistening and flashing an array of different colors, as a prism. "This is the last thing I can give you, I'm afraid. Eat it only when you feel the time is right. It will make you feel invincible; like you can do anything." Clearing her throat, she empties the box over her bed and tosses it carelessly aside, not so much as wincing as it hits a lamp and send both crashing to the floor. "Now... For the sake of your love and your potential to give me good footage, go! Find your Princess Potato and rescue him from straight the castle of Browser himself!"

"Aye-Aye!" A sudden bravado wells up in the pit of his stomach, and he cannot help the bright smile that grows upon his face. "Ve... But, wait. I don't know where to start. I don't even know where the castle is..."

"I have a map of the entire layout of this countryside in my book, on the last page." Curiously, Feliciano opens the book and flips to the last page, only for his face to visibly pale, and for his fingers to clumsily drop the book again. "Th-Th-That was..." That most certainly is NOT a map...

"O-Oh! I mean, eh heh, the second-to-last page... Oh, give that here!" She snatches the book hurriedly from him and rips out the back page, hugging it protectively to her chest before shoving the book back into his. "There. NOW it's on the last page. Go on, get out..." Her face is a furious red once again. Curse her and her little obsessions...

The Italian nods at her quickly and backs out of the room. "Ve, goodbye, Elizabeta!"

"Goodbye, Feliciano! Bring back your Princess!"

Shutting the doors behind him, Feliciano turns and proceeds down the great hall, toward the front doors on the other side and narrowly avoiding the Piranha Plant to his left once again. "Wonder what she was doing with a picture like that...? Hm... Oh well! I have to go find Ludwig now!" Smirking in determination, he brushes back his hair and pushes his arms forth, parting the vast doors and gazing out resolutely into the distance. Oh, the landscape is so pretty...! It truly is a lush, thriving countryside, with a volcano to the west and an ocean to the northeast. What a great place! His legs carry him one step forward, a deep breath inflates and compresses his chest, and he steps out into the sunset.

Sunset...

It WILL be getting darker soon...

... Maybe it wIll be best if he stops and takes refuge nearby. He can easily find housing with the Mushroom people, right? After all, he is their hero! Saving their princess! Right?

He certainly hopes so... Swallowing a large gulp of saliva, he changes directions slightly and turns to face the mushroom village a little ways away. "Ve~! I need a place to stay! Too dark, too dark!" With these words on repeat rolling freely off of his tongue, the Italian runs full-speed at the village, yelling and ultimately rousing nearly every inhabitant of the little village. Lights flicker, and tiny groans pass the lips of each citizen as Feliciano enters the little town. He peers inside a few houses' windows, knocks on a few doors... yet, as it is, none will comply.

Finally, after a few minutes of desperately attempting to find a place to stay, he finds himself forced to slump against a tree in the front yard of a Mushroom Person, leaning up against it with a sniffly nose and a melancholic sigh. "Pe... Pe... This is gonna be hard..."

"Hey!" A booming, somewhat obnoxious voice carries out from the house behind him, causing Feliciano to hurriedly stand up and search for a white flag out of sheer habit. "Who's out there? Anyone?"

"E-Erm, only me! The... The tomato fairy!" Feliciano bites his lip in uneasiness. Hopefully he won't be in trouble for trespassing or something...!

"Tomato fairy? Wha...? Berwald, go check it out!"

"Hmph." The assumed "Berwald" gives a cold grunt in response. Nonetheless, he must have agreed, as the door opens with a low creak, and heavy footsteps crunch in the grass as a man approaches the tree. "'right, who's 'ere?"

Giving a small cry of alarm, Feliciano steps out into the light, eyes wide and mouth agape. Okay, so this guy looks a bit ridiculous, with his blue-speckled white mushroom hat and his thick black glasses*, but... He's humongous! Not fat, but all height, with some likely muscle thrown in. Talk about intimidating. "D-Don't kill me! I'm too young to die!"

Berwald's eyebrow rises inquiringly, though he simply ignores the Italian's cries of fear and picks him up by the back of the shirt, carrying him in by one hand with ease despite Feliciano's struggling. "Qui' squirmin'." Stoic in the face, the Mushroom drags him toward the door and steps inside, setting the Italian upon a little stool by the fireplace and shutting the door behind them.

Feliciano rubs his eyes free of their fearful tears long enough to get a decent glance at these people... The house is filled with furniture, trash, maps, and bottles of alcohol. A small dog yaps at his feet and licks his ankles, to which Feliciano cannot help but smile, and reach down to pet the animal's head. It is then that he notices the group of Mushroom People around the main room, and examines the build of the house. There is one primary living room, with tiny kitchen appliances and the like in the corner by the window. The only other visible rooms are bedrooms, which are all upstairs, he assumes. Four people stand before him; Berwald, whom he met just seconds ago, as well as a short young man with a yellow Mushroom beret upon his head, who is standing close to Berwald with a curious look upon his face at the newcomer. Another man stands in the corner, holding a book, who bears a green Mushroom hat and a little Puffin reading over his shoulder. And, lastly, sitting in an armchair with a bottle of beer in one hand and a sheet of paper in another, is none other than the red-Mushroom-hatted man who had tugged him down into this world in the first place.

"You!" Feliciano stares at the red one for a moment, eyes wide and a startled gasp drawing into his lips. What had Roderich called him again? Matty? Matthew... Matthias! "Matthias! You're the one who dragged me in through the drain!"

Matthias stretches his limbs out and takes another swig of the beer in his hand, grinning like an idiot and nodding his head rather fervently. "Yep. What's yer point~?" His voice is slurred and strung with alcohol. "Hey, Tino? Why don'tcha go check 'n Nikolas? He seemed kinda off."

"That's because you made him be-" Tino begins to speak, though finds himself cut off upon the arrival of a particular mushroom down the stairs. Each step creaks and groans as he walks.

There stand Nikolas, expression deadly and eyes narrowed directly at Matthias. Atop his head is a pinkish speckled Mushroom hat, just as the others', though fake pink braided pigtails poke out from either end, awkwardly sitting over his naturally blonde hair. He wears a cotton-candy-pink dress and a red vest, and his face and ears match the exact color of said clothing.

A silence falls, broken only by Matthias and his drunken bought of laughter at the Norwegian's apparel; this incessant, obnoxious laughter is cut promptly off by the intensity of Nikolas' glare, however.

Oh, how Nikolas was going to murder Matthias for making him dress as Toadette**.

Meanwhile, in another part of the Mushroom Kingdom, Lovino and Antonio are calling it a night, and making refuge in a little cave off of the eastern ocean. A small fire is lit, having used one of the fire flowers found growing in the area. The two sit contently, huddled in blankets from Antonio's former house, and discuss various things amongst each other.

"So, what'd you say your brother's name was again? Feliciano?"

"Yeah, what's it matter?"

"Oh, just wondering. If we run into any other Koopa on our way, I'll make sure to ask if they've seen him around." Antonio picks up his rummage bag and pulls out a couple of plump, purple tomatoes. "These are my favorite things in the world. Want one? You have to be hungry, ¿sí?" He brings the oddly-colored fruit to his lips and takes a bite out of it, relishing in the taste with a wide grin and wiping the stray juice from his chin.

"...It's purple..." Lovino shudders, grimacing as Antonio took a bite out of it. As much as he loves tomatoes... he remains unsure if he truly trusts such an obviously-discolored fruit. What is it, bruised or something? Maybe it isn't even a tomato, but a plum or something. "... But, sure..." As skeptical as he remains, he IS still incredibly hungry... And he highly doubts Antonio wishes to poison him at this point anyway. Grunting, he snatches the other tomato from the Spaniard's hand and takes a large bite out of it, chewing with authority and swallowing, smacking his lips a few times to test the taste. "Hm. Not horrible." Okay, major understatement; it was quite easily the most delicious tomato he has ever eaten. But like hell is he ever going to give the Koopa that pleasure. So, instead, he implies it by taking another large bite out of it, eyes staring thoughtfully into the warm glow of the fire.

Antonio smiles warmly at the Italian and resists the urge to hug him again, determined to get on the man's good side throughout their adventures. Hopefully they never find Feliciano; then he can have Lovino all to himself! "Lovi!"

"Don't call me that..."

"Lovino, how's your hand?"

The Italian pauses, glancing down at his wrapped hand. "It still hurts like hell, but... I'm fine..." He needn't worry the Spaniard further.

"Ah, that's good…" Antonio pokes at the fire with a stick and opens his mouth to speak again, thought finds himself cut off by the sounds of heavy footsteps outside the mouth of the cave. "Those voices… my brigade!" His face lights up suddenly, and he turns to Lovino with a gentle grin. "Stay here and finish eating. I'll be right back, okay?"

Without awaiting another response from the Italian, Antonio rises from his spot by the wall and heads toward the entrance of the cave, peering out over the edge of the cliff beside which the cave is. "Francis? Are you there?"

Peering upward from below is a Wiggler***, long wavy hair sticking out from his flower antennae. "Ah, Antonio! There you are! We were looking everywhere for you!" He beckons the Spaniard to come down, which Antonio obliges to with a quick slide down the slide of the cliff. "What have you been up to, mon ami?"

"Ah, not much. Just trying to help out my new fr-" Antonio's eyes widen. "Oh, right! Have you met anyone by the name of Feliciano lately?"

The Frenchman's blue eyes widen in alarm at the sudden question. "Feliciano? You mean that little guy from the Mushroom Palace? Well, we met him, but the little fool was pretty quick to give up his Princess… Antonio? Are you okay? Antonio...?"

"I-I'm fine… I'll get back to the troop as soon as I can, okay Francis?"

"E-Erm, sure, Toni… But… Are you sure you're-?"

"I'm fine, Francis! Go!" Antonio's eyes narrow, voice becoming a bit huskier in tone.

Francis eyes his best friend for another moment longer before giving a slow nod and walking along with the rest of the troop out ahead, disappearing out of sight in the sea of Koopa and other such Scones.

Antonio, meanwhile, is left to contemplate what has been said, with a pain in his heart and a heavy confusion in his brain. He tugs himself up the Cliffside once again and steps toward the mouth of the cave, a heavy scowl suddenly replacing his typical smile. Feliciano belongs to the Mushroom Kingdom…? Then… would it not be appropriate to assume that Lovino is a Potato as well? His eyes narrow, staring at the little Italian man, who now sleeps soundly beside the fire, curled up in a ball in attempt at getting warmer. Could Lovino be betraying his trust? Does he plan on leaving the Spaniard in the dust after they find his brother? Antonio nears the sleeping man, a sudden smirk akin to that of the devil spreading across his face. Nobody betrays Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, Koopa or not.

All it would take to end this is the simple removing of his gloves. Then he could wring that soft, fragile neck of the wretch… Watch him burn as he is slowly strangled to death… But, no, he simply cannot do that while Lovino is sleeping. He needs to see the pain in Lovino's damned beautiful eyes… To watch those eyes widen and plead in agony, in confusion, as his life is torturously ended by Antonio himself… A punishment for so great a crime. To watch his beautiful little double agent writhe and cry, defenseless against his strangler…

He hovers over the Italian's sleeping form, eyes lightening from their previously dark state. Lovino… He cannot possibly be a Potato. For one thing, he does not bear a mushroom hat, or any sort of insignia. Lovino is not a traitor. He simply cannot be. What is he thinking? Of course Lovino is innocent! His innocent little Lovino… A gentle smile graces his lips, and he reaches forth with his gloved hand to lightly brush it across the Italian's peaceful sleeping face, tracing the curve of his jaw with a shaky sigh. No, Lovino is not a member of the Mushroom Kingdom. The fact that his brother is means absolutely nothing.

The Spaniard exhales shakily again and removes his hand from the Italian's face, eyes saddening. Oh, how we wishes to actually touch Lovino like they had earlier in the day. Although it had burned the Italian's hand, it had left such a pleasant sensation on the Spaniard's fingertrips… But, alas, this can never be. Shaking his head, he lays himself down beside the man and pulls his blanket over himself, staring into the embers of the fire and shutting his eyes.

Lovino is not a traitor. Lovino would always be loyal to the Scones… To him, over anything else.

"Buenas noches, Lovino…"

To be continued...

***, **, ***- I'd suggest googling the starred items if you don't know what they look like.**

**Anyway, we introduce two prominent things that I myself am a bit obsessed over. One of those would be... THE NORDIC BRIGADE. Except the purple Toad was replaced by Toadette. But I couldn't resist. |D The second? Yandere!Spain. I cannot resist that yandere, conquistador personality that comes out on occasion. It makes his character so much more interesting.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Ve~... So, why did you bring me down here?" Feliciano sits contently upon the toadstool sofa, kicking his legs to and fro with a happy smile on his inquiring face. On either side of him are Tino and Emil, the latter of which still reading his book without much of a care as to what the others are discussing. Berwald stands in the kitchen, clad in his normal attire and a frilly pink apron, picked out by Matthias himself. Nikolas is busy cracking his knuckles in the corner of the room, pained slightly by the feeling on his fist from connecting it with Matthias' jaw.

Matthias, similarly, gingerly massages his reddening jaw, shaken out of his prior drunken stupor by the force of the punch. Granted, even he cannot deny that he probably deserved that punch, but that doesn't lessen the pain by any means. "Beats me. I just kinda felt like it was necessary. And your brother was bugging the crap out of me..."

Feliciano raises an eyebrow at the leader of the Toad Brigade, though does not think to question him further, and instead peers down at one of the maps splayed open across the surface of the coffee table. "What's this a map of?"

"It's one of Browser's castles," Nikolas says, somewhat plainly, as his eyes focus in on one spot in particular on the map. "Last time this happened, Ludwig was locked up in a cell in the room farthest east..."

"Eh?" Feliciano gazes down at the map in wonder. "There's more than one castle?"

Nikolas' eyes fall upon the Italian then, a lightly amused light in his eyes. "There are thirty-seven. And counting. That's why recovering Princess Potato is made the duty of the Toad Brigade. With five of us, we can split up more easily and figure out where the Scones took him."

"Ve, how cool!" Eyes widening in surprise, the Italian shifts and readjusts his seating position, folding his hands in his lap. "I'm going to rescue Princess Potato. Not sure when, but sometime soon. Hm, I still need to find my brother... I wonder where Lovino wandered off to...?" Really, wouldn't it make sense for the two of them to get dropped off in the same place? He has not seen nor heard traces of his brother since his arrival... "Have any of you heard of anyone called "Lovino"?"

Berwald shakes his head at the young Italian before returning to his primary focus in the makeshift kitchen, from which drifts scrumptious smells and decadent fumes. "... Makin' Pitepalt*." He begins to place said balls onto a platter, carrying it carefully into the living room and placing the dish in the center of the table, carefully avoiding any of Matthias' maps.

_Oh, where could Lovino be? I hope he's not too scared... And I sure hope he isn't stuck in Browser's prison... _He gulps at the idea. His poor fratello... "Wonder where he is... Hmm..." Curiously, he pokes one of the Pitepalt balls before popping one into his mouth, giving a small hum of contentment. "Mmm! Those are yummy!"

The towering Mushroom-Swede simply grunts in response, though he is grateful for the praise.

"Pehhh... Do you all mind if I stick around? Until we get to the first castle?" Feliciano lets his eyes fall on Tino this time, putting on one of his more innocent expressions in expectancy. Really, this is likely his most promising chance to find a lead on Ludwig's whereabouts.

Tino's face flushes a bit, but he nods his head hesitantly; he gives Matthias a long stare before responding. "I'm sure that'll be fine..." he says, somewhat distantly, and reaches for a Swedish dumpling as well. "I mean, I don't think you'd slow us down or anything... If anything, having another recruit might speed things up, because we can split up more than we normally can."

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Matthias enthusiastically punches his fist into the air. "You'll be, like, our back-up plan. I don't think we'll ever need any back-up, because we're one awesome, kick-ass team, but it doesn't hurt to have another person look around."

Feliciano nods his head in concurrence, kneading the soft material of the sofa with his fingers. "I just hope we aren't too late… Ve! What does Browser want with Ludwig anyway? Does he want the Mushroom Kingdom all for himself?"

At such a question, Matthias' attention averts toward Nikolas, and the Dane's lips part to speak again in reply, but catching another glimpse of the cross-dressing mushroom simply makes his burst into an extreme fit of laughter again. Oh, how ridiculous-yet-cute his Norwegian looks…! Perfect idea, perfect idea…

After slapping Matthias upside the head, Nikolas claims a seat in front of Feliciano and picks up a Pitepalt ball, chewing a piece in thought. "… Well… Depends on who you ask. Never heard it directly from Browser's mouth. Some people suspect he wants the land for his own purposes. Others believe he's in love with Princess Potato. Those are the two most common things you hear around the Mushroom Kingdom. A few other theories here and there, but…"

Berwald gives a gruff grumble at that. Yes, both theories seem rather plausible. Land and power is a nice luxury, as is requited love. Not everyone is granted both… Here he sits, eating Pitepalt, under control of his leader Matthias and loving Tino, yet unreciprocated… In a way, he feels Browser's pain. But this shan't be fixed anytime soon, so he sits contently with his meat dumplings, wordless, worldless…

"Ve~! Well, could I have one of your maps? That way I can look for Princess Ludwig when I'm out and about?" Feliciano begins to shuffle through the various sheets of paper scattered upon the tabletop, picking one up and examining it with scrutinizing eyes. "This one should work…"

"Go ahead; just let us know which castle you're searching for so we can write it down." Tino grabs a sheet of paper and takes a pen from his breast pocket, clicking it and waiting for a response from the Italian.

"Um… Oh! Castle number four!"

"Four of Thirty-seven… Got it." Tino tosses the pen carelessly aside and nods his head with a cheery smile. "Go ahead; go find him. We won't be too far behind; just need to finish our meal, and we'll be on our way, too."

Feliciano gazes between all of them with a bright smile. "You've got it!"

XaXaXaX

The morning sun rises lazily over the horizon, prompting Lovino Vargas to awaken with a start. Accursed sun, shining in his eyes so inconsiderably like that... shaking his head, the little Italian plumber rubs his eyes with the back of his uninjured hand before using said hand to smack the slumbering Spaniard beside him. "Alright, asshole. Get up already." As much as he would like to sleep in... Finding his stupid brother is his top priority.

Antonio's eyebrows crinkle together for a second before loosening as a gentle smile graces his features. Releasing a mild yawn, he stretches his arms above his head and rolls onto his tummy, blinking the sleep from his emerald eyes and drowsily gazing up at his Italian companion. "Morning, Lovi~…" he says with a sleepiness coating his tongue. The Spaniard sits upright and leans his shoulder lightly against Lovino's, lingering for a split second before said plumber shoves him away.

"S-So… how did your thing with the troop go?" With a quick huff, Lovino puts out the fire and rubs his eyes again, trying desperately to awaken from his previous state of slumber.

Antonio's body froze momentarily, eyes going blank and staring idly ahead. The troop… Ah, right. Feliciano. Back at the Mushroom Palace… Mushroom Palace…

"Hey, tomato-freak?"

A bright, almost blinding smile overtakes the features of the Koopa, obviously forced by the twitching of his lips, though in his other struggles, Lovino takes no notice of this as he readjusts his own clothing. "Oh, right! They hadn't heard of Feliciano before."

Lovino's face falls, and it is this downed look that nearly forces the truth from behind the Spaniard's lips. Oh, how he hates lying to such a wickedly cute face… But there is absolutely no way he is going to allow the Italian to leave him. Especially if Lovino ends up being of the Mushroom Kingdom after all. He himself is a loyal soldier, and he hasn't the slightest inkling of doubt that Lovino is as well. But then again, Lovino had previously known nothing of the kingdoms, right? So… So perhaps the adorable plumber is, in all actuality, of neither? Or maybe he has amnesia? What is going on... Well, Antonio cannot be certain. But he refuses to let Lovino go. Not now. Not ever.

"B-But I'll still help you look, Lovi~!" Antonio's smile morphs into one of genuine intentions as he stands up from the floor of the cave, dusting off his shell and giving his tail a quick twitch. "I'm sure we'll find him eventually!"

"Don't call me that." Lovino stands as well and begins to walk toward the mouth of the cave, gazing out at the expanse of meadow and sea that could be viewed from the cliff. Actually, this place is probably quite beautiful. Well, whenever one isn't worried sick over their _fratello_. Quite literally, now that his thoughts drift to his stomach… Trudging to the edge of the cliff, the Italian tajes a seat and fixes his jade hat.

"… Lovino?" Antonio cocks his head to the side in puzzlement, following the plumber out into the open and taking a seat beside him, allowing his feet to dangle contently over the edge. "Eh? What's the matter?"

"What's the matter?" Tone growing more miffed by the minute, Lovino shoots a glare at the Spaniard and hunches his shoulders, wincing. His stomach hurts. "What's the matter, Antonio? Let's think about this for a minute, you idiot! My brother's missing, I want to go home, and I'm stuck out here with a turtle-brained-"

But his ramblings are cut off rather abruptly by a sudden jerk to the right; Antonio has grabbed his wrist and tugged them both to the side. "Quick, Lovi, follow me!" Rising to his feet hurriedly, the Koopa pulls Lovino back into the cavern, hidden behind the lip of the mouth.

"What the hell are you doing?" Antonio simply ignores the Italian and peers around the rock mouth, eyes clearly fixing on a mushroom-capped man a few meters away. Lovino's amber stare followed the Spaniard's to find the mushroom man. "Abel**?" Oh. Oh. Right… The Dutch man that Antonio has never been fond of. At least, in his own world. He knows no reason why this relationship should differ in any way.

"Stay here, Lovi; promise?" Smiling sweetly, Antonio pats the plumber's head and urges him to get down. Lovino, though grumbling about the persistent need to call him by that accursed nickname, complies and plops down in the corner, folding his arms across his chest and trying to still his palpitating heart. Antonio smiles more gently before slinking out of the cavern, crouching lower and withdrawing a hammer from inside of his shell.

... Oh no... He didn't plan to…? Surely enough, Lovino shan't have any doubt in his mind. Antonio's eyes suddenly glow with a frenzied, feral fire, and his priorly kind smile is replaced instantaneously by a devilish smirk. Eyes never once leaving their distant target, Antonio pulls his arm back, readjusts the hammer in his grasp, and throws.

And a loud Dutch swear can be heard echoing through the fields for miles.

***Pitepalt- A Swedish dumpling thing. Look it up. **Abel- Netherlands**

**Review, review, review! I do get motivation through those little messages, you know. ^^**


	6. Chapter 6

"So where _is_ Castle Four?"

Feliciano pushes past the shroomed front door, gaze drifting back toward the Nordic Brigade behind him. Now that morning is rising up from the horizon, it will be easier to travel, by whatever means these peculiar mushroom folk might wish to go.

"Castle Four?" For the first time since the Italian's arrival, Emil speaks, though mild flecks of disinterest speckle his voice. "About three kilometers away."

Matthias checks a watch upon his wrist and turns back to Nikolas, who has yet to replace the feminine clothing. "Yeah... Okay, we need to blow this joint. Like, now." They were wasting daylight, after all! This would already take a while. "I'll hit Castle One. Nikolas, you take Castle Two. Tino, Three. Emil Five. And... _You_-" he waves his hand indifferently in Berwald's direction, "Take Castle Six."

"Ve, how are we gonna get there?"

At this, Berwald reaches into his vest pocket and withdraws a pair of jingling keys, shiny and sharp. And floral, oddly enough. "Takin' th' karts."

Carts? Hmm. Well, with Feliciano's experience, that means either a shopping contraption or a racing vehicle. Like Go-carts. Somehow, despite his desire for the first option, the go-cart idea seems the most plausible in this situation. "Ah, okay! Can I drive?"

"Ah, ah, ah~." Matthias shakes his head and snatches the keys from Berwald's fingers, thus preventing the plumber from doing so. "My ride. Therefore, I drive." Grinning in satisfaction, the Self-Appointed Brigade Leader steps outside himself and inhales deeply, allowing the flow of fresh air to reach his lungs.

"The kart is out back," Tino says to Feliciano, tugging the Italian's sleeve slightly and pointing to the back fence. "Make sure you hold onto something on the ride, though. Matthias drives like a drunken Bullet Vash*."

Bullet Vash...? Before he may pipe up an inquiry, he is dragged lightly along toward the backyard. As Nikolas pulls the gate open with the gentlest of tugs, the kart in question graces his eyes with its sleek build. Sparkling blue paint coats the vehicle, with little mushroom-esque designs and logos decorating the hood and doors. Large black wheels, littered with crevices for effective tract, are nestled beneath the kart. Curving up from under the rear bumper are two wildly-shaped exhaust pipes; blackened flecks spackle around the end, where flames presumably have spurted on numerous occasions. "Ve, how cool~!"

"Yep, she's a pretty sweet ride, huh?" Matthias smirks at Feliciano's commentary. Yes, his ride is pretty kick-ass. "Alright, Nikolas gets the honor of sitting shotgun."

"Honor? I thought I was being punished."

"Everyone else, pile into the back!"

Albeit begrudgingly, the other five comply, despite the discomfort of having four people squished into the backseat like sardines in a tin can. Particularly notable regarding discomfort is Berwald, the poor giant, whose legs are forced into an awkward angle and whose neck is slightly ducked as his scalp presses against the roof of the vehicle. "Th's isn' workin'."

At the blue-capped man's statement, Matthias rolls his eyes and turns around, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "Eh, we could always stuff ya in the trunk."

Thank goodness that Tino is beside Berwald to restrain him, as the towering Swede seems about ready to beat Matthias' head into the ground. Feliciano glances at the two for a moment before smiling lightly. "I can sit in the trunk!" Without allowing anyone a chance to object, the plumber opens the door and spills out, skipping to the back of the kart and popping open the trunk. He wordlessly climbs inside and nestles himself comfortably up against a few items inside, near the back. Hmm... Turtle shells? Peculiar... Quite peculiar. "Ve, okay! Let's go, Cap'n!"

With a willing nod, Matthias inserts the key and grips the steering wheel tightly in his hands. "Castle Four, here we come!" Upon the conclusion of this sentence, he presses his foot down, and... Well, slams his shoe upon the pedal. The vehicle lurches forward suddenly, prompting Feliciano to tumble awkwardly in the trunk; it unclasps, and his legs dangle limply from the opening.

"How's it going back there?" Matthias shouts, attempting (though none too desperately) to raise his voice above the level of the kart's gurgles and hums.

Wincing lightly, Feliciano sticks his head out of the trunk and turns toward the front. "Everything's fine, ve~!" Er, more or less, anyway. Rubbing the sore spot on his head, the plumber returns his gaze into a forward position, allowing his eyes to roam freely along the dips and hills that curve along the land. It is within this moment of reflection that Feliciano can truly marvel at the wonders of this glorious kingdom. A-bloom green trees grow abundantly from tall, healthy grass. Numerous mushroom houses litter the land around them, and the Italian even spots a number of citizens (the majority in the typical mushroom-cap-and-vest attire that this kingdom seems famous for). Alas, there are very few females, regardless of attire, which prevents Feliciano from using any genuine Italian charm. But it is also possible that Lovino has caused them all to flock toward the elder plumber; a part of Feli hopes this is the case, as Lovino often seems quite unhappy at times. He could use a girl in his life. Or, heck, a boy, if that is Lovi's preference.

Lovi... Where is his dearest sibling? With a head shake of disbelief, the Italian realizes, for the first time since his arrival, that Lovino could very well be in the clutches of Browser (or worse, even) at this precise moment. How horrifying a thought that is... Well, with any luck, Lovino has scampered away and found a lovely house of toadstool folk to reside with, abundant with meals and maidens and whatever else might please the grumpy young man.

"Werr h're." Berwald's harsh, baritone voice breaks Feliciano's state of distraction. Castle number four. Said hero rapidly shakes his head and returns his focus on the task at hand; he parts his eyelids to take in his newest surroundings, and almost chokes on his own saliva out of sheer surprise. The grass beneath the kart crunches, yellow and brittle, and the three trees in his field of vision are black and crawling with Wiggler maggots. Why, he had seen lush landscapes mere minutes prior! How can a castle so near be so different in vitality? It seems all but impossible! Shennanigans! Unfortunately, the expression glazed over Emil's expression speaks differently.

Wrinkling his nose, Feliciano hauls himself up out of the trunk of the vehicle, stretching his limbs out in front of him and peering up at the top of the main tower. Oh, how his heart is palpitating, his palms bleeding sweat through shaky pores...! Swallowing a thick gulp of saliva, he turns around to face the brigade once more. "Is this-"

And, much to his dismay, the Nordic brigade can be seen in the distance, driving their kart as quickly from the castle's site as possible without so much as a "good luck!".

Eyes growing wider, Feliciano slowly returns his attention to the castle, fixating his stare upon the large entrance. His hands quiver at his hips; his lip twitches here and there as he resists the urge to break down in tears. He misses his brother. He wishes Ludwig's safety. And yet...

Quickly, his hand jolts up, swiping at his cheek to clear his face of any sign of rolling tears. Now is the time.

With that, he sucks in his gut, rolls up his sleeves, and staggers onward, passing the entrance of the castle with a single step before huffing.

For Lovino. For Princess Potato.

For himself.

AwAwAwAwA

"You idiot!"

Antonio's grin falters into a grimace as Lovino's displeased voice reaches his ears. "Ah, what is it, Lovi?"

"Don't give me that!" The plumber groans and lightly taps the unconscious Dutch Mushroom with the toe of his shoe. Said mushroomfolk lies out cold in the dust at their feet, a rather expansive bump growing on his forehead, where Antonio had chucked his hammer mere minutes prior. Giving a quick shake of the head, Lovino begins walking onward down the trodden dirt pathway, murmuring Italian curses a mile a minute under his breath. The idiotic Spaniard! How can he NOT see the wrong in taking out a random passerby? Then again, perhaps real-world grudges carry over? That makes the most sense, considering the identity of the victim...

Antonio eyes the Italian's back, his own heart giving a little jitter and his brain whizzing like mad. "Lovino." He states his companion's name firmly, seriously, and a rare frown graces the Koopa's face. This prompts Lovino to halt his steps, though he refuses to so much as budge in the direction of Antonio in this moment. "Lovino. Mushroom or Scone?" He cannot help it. He question has been itching to be answered, once and for all.

"You already asked me that, idiot."

Upon that little added part passing the plumber's lips, Antonio stiffens a bit. "... You never gave me a straight answer."

An eyebrow rose inquiringly at the Spaniard, an even greater confusion welling up within. "What difference does it make? Mushrooms are usually better, but-"

Antonio's heart all but stops.

So. It is true then, what he himself suspected last night... Lovino is of the Mushroom Kingdom, he is certain of it now. How had he missed it before? It seems so blatantly obvious now! Oh, a blinded fool was he! Blinded by infatuation... Blinded by one damned adorable Italian man... It makes him sick to the stomach to consider. His chest aches. His mind fogs up. His frown curls upward.

Lovino simply stares blankly at Antonio for a while, folding his arms over his chest. "Uh... Hello? Earth to Antonio." What is with this guy, anyhow? Yes, the Antonio of his world is equally spacey and bizarre, but at least in Italy he can mention mushrooms without Antonio losing his marbles. Besides, what is wrong with him saying he prefers mushrooms over scones? Mushrooms are delicious, quite frankly. "What's with that creepy-ass smile?" No response. Lovino quirks an eyebrow upward. "Antonio...?"

"The troop will be by here soon." His gaze drifts up to the sky, eyeing the position of the sun without so much of a falter upon his madman's face. "Get out of here, Lovino. I'll be joining up with my troop when they drop by."

"... What the hell are you-?"

"Lovino!" Antonio's voice, quivering at this point, rises to a shout, demanding the Italian to heed him. "If you don't get out of here, they'll kill you." He swallows, eyes pained. "I _will _kill you."

Rendered speechless, Lovino gawks incredulously at the Koopa before him, entirely uncertain how to take all of this. Is the entire situation due to his preference toward mushrooms...? "You bastard, w-what's the matter with you?" Antonio is scaring him. And he is certainly not the sort of man one wants to fear.

"Listen to me!" Antonio peers behind his shoulder suspisciously, smirk falling. "I need you to get out of here, Lovino! Dammit, I don't want to have to hurt you, so cooperate!" He reaches out suddenly and grasps Lovino's arms in his gloved hands. "Follow the path to the castle, you hear? Don't turn back, and if you hear anything, you'd better run away from it at all costs."

Lovino's eyes widen even more, if such a thing is even possible at this point. This is all so overwhelming... "C-Can you at least tell me why?" His voice has dropped to a light stutter, hardly audible amongst the whipping winds.

As his eyes linger in the Italian's, Antonio feels his previous state of being begin to fade. A sigh breaches his lips. "Because, Lovi. You're the enemy."

... The enemy? Surely Antonio is exaggerating. The weirdo has a knack of doing such things, after all... Though, deep within, Lovino knows this is no joke. The enemy, huh? Because of his fungal preferences? Augh, he's so confused...! Shaking his head fervently, he nods once before shrugging out of the Koopa's grip. "... Down the path, to the castle?"

"Sí." The Spaniard swallows a heavy gulp of anxiousness and, caught up in the moment, kisses his own gloved fingers. He reaches forward and gently presses said hand up to Lovino's forehead, smiling a wide, typical grin. "See ya, Juliet."

"Oh shut it, you corny bastard." Wriggling away, Lovino turns and begins to run, struggling to ditch the Scone before his blush becomes any more prominent. Stupid, stupid, stupid Antonio! Saying weird things and doing even stranger... Agh...!

Waiting until Lovino vanishes from his field of vision, Antonio laughs somewhat giddily, doing a little dance in place and wiggling his stubby turtle's tail in glee. Ah~, a forbidden love! It seems so absurd and overdone, and yet it has become his reality! But, then, it isn't really love, he supposes. Especially now. "Alright, Franny, what is it?"

Indeed, from the confinement of the bushes a few feet away pops the Wiggler, Francis Bonnefoy himself, up out of the branches. "That was quite a show, Antonio. Really played up the corn, non? Sounds like something I would have said."

Antonio chuckles, leaning his shelled back up against a tree trunk. "Yeah, I guess it _was_ pretty bad. So how long were you watching?"

"Long enough."

"Ah, ahahaha!" The Koopa rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "Isn't he cute, though?"

"He is, I guess..." Francis' eyes narrow slightly. "Listen, mon ami. Browser mentioned something this morning about a man of the Mushroom Kingdom. Apparently there's a new spy in their forces."

"Eh, but what's one spy? They probably have oodles."

Oodles. That is such an odd word, Francis muses. "Well, that "one spy" fit Lovino's appearance to a fault."

That all but ends Antonio's few thought processes altogether. "You aren't saying...? But that can't be! He's... He's Lovi!"

"And he's not a Scone." Francis sighed, placing a hand upon his friend's shoulder (and discreetly reaching downward for his bottom every now and then). "I know this is hard for you, but you really should just tell Browser about Lovino."

"¿Qué? No! I could never!" Fervently, he shakes his head, stiffening at Francis' touch. "Browser never has to know about us."

Francis frowns. "My friend, that is easier said than done. He's going to find out if you don't tell him, and heaven knows what will happen if he does."

"He doesn't control me." Antonio's eyes narrow, a snarl forming in his throat. "Y'know, I was a Mushroom long before I was a Scone. I didn't choose this."

"Ah, but you forget, Antonio. Browser spared your life. He can just as easily take it. Yours and Lovino's both."

Antonio tears his gaze away and focuses instead on the terrain ahead, upon which Lovino recently traveled. A deep sigh escapes from within as he ponders over his options. What options?, he thinks bitterly. It seems there is only one valid solution, alas.

With shaky fingers, he pries the gloves off of his hands and shoves them into his shell.

"Eh, Franny? Where is Lord Browser right now?"

AwAwAwAwA

Lovino, meanwhile, has found himself in a bit of a pickle. He has followed the pathway, just as Antonio had instructed. Aforementioned plan had been working perfectly well.

Until he arrived at a fork in the road. Oh, how ingenius, Antonio. Tell him to follow a path that inevitably has multiple branches. Sure, there is a sign pointing in both directions with some form of writing, but the script looks indigenous. Thus, incredibly unhelpful.

Oh, how he is going to kill that stupid turtle freak...

"Well, now what?" he mutters to himself, peering every which way with no hope of actually seeing any castles anywhere. Nope, no signs of anything to indicate which path was the right path.

His eyes drift downward at the gravel, and a grunt is uttered lightly under his breath. Well, the left path looks more trodden upon, which probably meant something... Ah, what the heck. What's the worst that could be on the other pathway?

Actually, in this world, great adversity probably lay on either road. Meh. Shaking his head, he turns left and decides to take this direction, praying to whatever deity resides here that he survive this entire ordeal.

Oh, and his brother.

Speaking of which, where HAS his (dearest?) sibling scampered off to? He has neither seen nor heard anything of the bubbly Italian since their arrival. The peculiarity of this entire situation truly just stumps him.

The pathway begins to change; brownish gravel turns to loose pebbles, rolling beneath his feet and ultimately making transportation more difficult. Even the sky has altered, if only slightly more reminiscent of the falling dusk than early morning. Suddenly, he begins to regret making the decision to turn down the leftmost path.

Well, crap, now what? What is there to do at this point? He can hardly even make out the road anymore... This is such an unfortunate predicament... Readjusting his green overalls, Lovino plops down in the road, releasing a defeated sigh and flopping back in the pebbles. All this talk of Koopas and Mushrooms and Gumbos (or whatever those stupid little brown things were called) has all but driven him batty. He will surely dream of purple tomatoes and Scones tonight...

"Psst! Oi, you!"

As a voice suddenly sounds from behind, Lovino jerks backward and curls up, glaring and trying to settle his trembling limbs. "Wh-Wh-Who is it?" Oh, if only he had one of those weird flowers from earlier...! For whatever reason, Antonio had been deathly afraid of it...

"Over here! Don't ignore this awesomeness!"

Lovino raises an eyebrow inquisitively and glances slowly downward. Oh God, no. Please, no. He has already dealt with enough bull today. The last thing he needs is this bozo. Who knew his entire neighborhood apparently lives right here as well?

But, sure enough, Gilbert rests two feet away from the plumber, his top half sprouting up from the ground like a plant.

Oh, and he has a huge plank of wood hanging from a rope around his neck. But that's not strange or anything. Hell, for this world, it probably isn't.

"Finally saw the Awesome Gilboard**, huh?"

... _Awesome Gilboard_?

Oh Dear Lord...

AwAwAwAwA

***Bullet-Vash- Look up Bullet Bill **Gilboard- I was playing Super Mario Galaxy once and came across a billboard named Gilboard. Thus, Gilbert's character was decided.**

**(Also, don't kill me for the Juliet reference. I've had my current Spamano fic on the brain. I had to do it.)**

**Anyway, if we hit at least 27 reviews, I can guarantee that the next chapter will be based mostly off of Feli's misadventures in the castle. With some Lovi-Gilboard thrown in. And maybe more insight Browser.**

**If we don't hit that... Well, we'll see. Spread the word~**

**Anyways, just wanted to thank everyone who HAS taken time to read/review my fanfictions. I greatly appreciate it, believe me. It helps motivate me, for one thing, and I would never know anyone's preferences without them. So thank you for your opinionated reviews, everyone. :3**

**And, yes, I changed "Potato or Scone" to "Mushroom or Scone". I felt it worked better with the plot. **


	7. Chapter 7

Poor Feliciano has not made it three steps into the castle before a terrified scream erupts from within his chest. Oh, this is already far more than he is capable of handling...! Why, he cannot yet even see anything, as a thick blackness engulfs his surroundings. If only there were a light or something. That would certainly prove helpful at this moment.

As if on some sort of sick-minded cue, the wooden drawbridge door behind him, large and thick and towering, begins to roll itself up again, threatening to create an unbreachable barrier between the Italian man and the outside world. "No; stop! Wahhh!" Despite his hurrying pace backwards, Feliciano cannot slip through the doorway in time to escape, and finds himself indefinitely encased in this dark, stone prison.

"Oh, what now?" He hurriedly ruffles his hair up and begins pacing to and fro with a frantic anxiety. What can be done at this point? His composure is already crumbling in his fingers! Why, his toes are going numb from sheer paranoia! As his eyes flit every which way in search of light, a tiny flicker of flame licks suddenly at the wall down a corridor to his right. Perhaps that is a sign? Indeed, as he peers down the hall, a great gaggle of torches suddenly catch fire, casting a warm orange glow upon the cold stone flooring.

And thus, the plumber shakes his head, swallows largely, and takes a hesitant step forward.

... Well, he hasn't been blown sky high, so hopefully that's a sheer sign that it is, in fact, safe to tread farther. He steps once, twice, thrice, and soon picks up a rhythmic stride down the dimly lit corridor. With every step, he grows more conscious of a peculiar aspect of this velvety red carpet beneath his feet: the floor is emitting heat. Not much- certainly not enough to burn- but enough to feel it slightly through his shoes. "Ve, that's pretty weird..." he muses, though thinks little of it and continues on. His eyes begin to drift idly around, catching stray glimpses of framed pictures hanging erratically from the stone walls surrounding him. Each picture contains an image of Arthur (or of said leader with other people), smirking smugly or doing something or other significant. Torches continue to lead the way onward, illuminating each framed portrait (as well as the walkway), and eventually, he sights the source of heat beneath his feet; beyond the walkway is a bubbling pool of magma, sloshing thickly around and sizzling with malice.

"Ah, what's that?" Feliciano asks himself, gaze now fixating on the pathway. At the top of the stairs, a golden cube of some sort is floating in mid-air, hovering yet completely motionless. Raising his eyebrows in curiosity, the plumber eagerly staggers up the steps, practically hopping to climb their enormous heights. After some struggling and a tremendously startling amount of effort, he reaches the top of the stairs, falling onto his overall-covered knees as short pants puff out from his lips. He is already growing tired. Curse his normal laziness!

Thankfully, the sight of that ominous golden cube is enough to shake him mostly out of his exhausted reverie. It glows brightly above his head; a question mark has, oddly enough, been etched into each face on the surface. As curiosity progressively gets the better of him, Feliciano lifts his arms above his head, stretching to reach the box to no avail. He simply isn't tall enough. Perhaps if he gave a bit of a jump...?

Sticking his tongue out in determination, he swings his arms back, fixes his eyes on the cube, and jumps straight upward.

"O-Ouch!" Being the clutz that he is, Feliciano manages to misjudge his distance from the box, and promptly bashes his head into the bottom of the cube. The force propells him down onto his bottom, earning him a decently sizeable bump atop his cranium as well. This castle is just... So confusing! Shaking his head to and fro, he stands and brushes himself off, taking a few more steps before a strange sound reaches his ears from behind.

_Blip-blip-blip-blip._

What should sprout out from the once-golden cube (it is now a dull brownish hue) but an oval-petaled flower? The box lowers slightly, enough for the Italian to reach it now without the need to jump. His jade eyes widen, curiously fixed upon the plant with final recognition. Of course! Elizabeta had left him those items from her "personal stash". One of them had been a flower... Something tells him this is that exact plant. At least, he's pretty sure this is what it looks like.

But... What had she told him to do with it...? Cocking an eyebrow, he reaches out and lightly prods a leaf of it. Nothing. Hmm... Bringing it nearer to his face, Feliciano gives the flower a little sniff, eyes glinting with delight. Why, it smells delicious! Licking his lips, he brings the plant to his lips, nibbling off the corner of a petal.

"Ah, that's really tasty!" Face lighting up happily, he scarfs down the remainder of the strange flower, smacking his lips and sighing contently at the snack. It had been heavily spiced, with a cinnamon-esque taste. A bit odd, but it was probably a regionally-aquired taste.

Now back to finding Ludwig~! Cheerily spinning on his heel, he whistles a little tune and begins to walk, taking a whopping three steps before a shadow casts itself on the opposite wall. "Y-Y-Yipe! Save me! I'm innocent!" He shrieks and yelps, not so much as looking at the newcomer before flailing his arms in despair.

What he does NOT expect is for an array of fireballs to come propelling out of his palms one of which effectively hitting the enemy directly in the chest. Said enemy, a green-shelled Koopa, stumbles in surprise and tumbles over the edge of the walkway, a distressed "Blimey!" echoing off the walls until the magma gives another sizzle, signalling the worst.

Whoops. There goes Cody.*

Feliciano's eyes give saucers a run for their money at this point as he stares disbelievingly at his hands. Did he just...? Surely not! He's become a human flamethrower! The absurdity of it all is astonishing, yet, oddly, does not blow his mind. Then again, this IS the less earth-bound of the two siblings. Regardless, this is a new power he has not expected in the slightest. He can only assume it is the flower to blame; in fact, now that he considers Elizabeta again, he's pretty sure she had mentioned something about fire to him before their departure.

There is only one appropriate response to this situation.

With a rambling cry, he takes off running down the corridor, wildly flailing his arms around and knocking a few more enemies off of the edge with his fireballs.

"I'm innocent!"

"No! I'm a virgin! An Italian!"

"My great great uncle was Brazilian!"

These disclaimers and more spew a mile a minute as he speeds with flailing arms down the hall, taking care to leap across gaps (nearly falling off of the edge on a number of occasions) and avoid any of Browser's unusual defenses.

At last, after what seems like an eternity of fleeing and crying waterfalls, Feliciano halts, noticing the empty, safe path ahead. He pants and huffs, hunching over to catch his breath after that adrenaline rush. Still no sign of Browser, Princess Potato, or Lovino. His hope in this castle being the one is significantly beginning to wane. Perhaps it would be best to just go on and wish for the best. He hesitantly straightens up and walks on, limbs trembling with each echoing step as the velvety crimson carpet ends, leaving naught but stone for him to trod upon. Soon, the walkway ends, leaving him in a small room with a single mahogany door on the opposite end. "Ludwig!" he excitedly calls, eagerness getting the better of him as he enters the room, crossing halfway with the door in sights.

"Hold it right there!"

Feliciano skids to a stop, nibbling his lip in anxiety and curling up against the wall at the sudden, booming voice. "W-Who's there, ve?" His head turns left and right, trying to pinpoint the source of the voice.

"None other than I, Browser Junior! Haha!"

Above! The voice is above him!

"I'll take you down, Mushroom Man! I'll prove myself to that Jerk Arthur!"

Frantically, Feliciano glances up, and spots, at last, the source of the voice. His current adversary.

"... Ve, Peter?"

AwAwAwAwA

"For the last time, Albino Bastard, I don't give a crap about your "five meters" or whatever!"

"I do have 'em! At least five meters of pure awesome!"

"Your lower half's in the ground, you idiot! So what does it even _matter_?"

It is in this manner that Lovino and Gilboard have bickered for the past two hours. To any other, these arguements would be little more than pointless, yet the burning pride both men held was more than either could handle. Funny, what topics one can find to dispute when stuck in the ground for years.

"Ja, well," Gilboard leans his chin in his palm, popping his back and glancing boredly at Lovino. "I wasn't always stuck here. Lemme tell ya, nothing sucks much more than not being able to move."

"I don't really care one way or another." Lovino folds his arms across his chest and rises suddenly, focusing his eyes on the sun. Surely he hasn't wasted so much time with this German asshole? Augh! It's disgusting! "I'm outta here. Have a nice life in the ground."

Gilbert shakes his head incredulously, reaching out for Lovino's pantleg and narrowly missing. "Hey, get back here! I'm not done yet! Hey! Bring me back a beer!"

Rolling his eyes, the elder Vargas brother walks on until Gilboard's ramblings are out of earshot. Now to find the Mushroom Kingdom's castle, or wherever Antonio had advised him to go. He still cannot believe that he wasted two full hours of his life arguing with a Grounded German.

He withdraws a handkerchief from his pocket and dabs at his face as a long yawn slips past his lips. It's been such a long twenty-four hours... He can hardly believe it himself. All he knows is that, if Feliciano isn't in this godforsaken castle, he is going to murder his brother. Twice. Yes.

His internal threat process is disrupted by the sudden array of voices sounding in the distance. An eager desire to reunite with his sibling (one which makes him want to retch) begins to swell within, prompting him to pick up the pace and stride further down the pathway. Hopefully Feliciano will be raring to go.

Peeling back the bushes, Lovino steps into a clearing, catching sight of a castle about twenty meters away. It certainly is NOT what he has imagined; in fact, he daresay it's much darker, almost medieval. There is also a thick blanket of fog beginning to settle in, making sight difficult. But none of this matters now. He urges himself forward, toward the towering castle, closer, closer-

Something is horribly wrong. It is not only the castle's dramatic appearance that speaks this, but the soldiers that guard the premises, growing more unveiled as the fog begins to clear. Lovino skids to a halt, smirk falling instantaneously as he recognizes the familiar species of Koopa and Goomba in the not-so-distant area. Cupping a hand over his mouth (to quell any stirring desires to scream), he stumbles backwards and turns to run, though finds his shoulder roughly pulled aside by a stray hand which, thankfully, clamps onto his sleeve and not his bare flesh.

"Hey!" A familiar Cuban face appears before him, bearing a simple shell and a bizarre hairdo, holding a spiked staff in his free hand. "Hold it right there!" This overall-donning man seems awfully akin to the description Arthur had given- the man who knows Browser's true identity, the man accused of spying. And here he is, living proof that there was, indeed, a new agent among the Mushroom Kingdom's spy unit.

As the Cuban Clubba** begins to usher Lovino towards the castle, said Italian trembles with fear and struggles, to no avail, in his grasp. This cannot be happening! Not now! All of this tine searching for his brother has led him nowhere but here. Stupid Antonio, too! That damned Koopa is the one who had said to follow the path! Augh, how could Lovino be so blinded?

And it is, with a heavy, battering heart, that Lovino allows himself to be dragged in past the drawbridge.

**A/N: WAH. Those reviews. So many~ I appreciate it everyone, I really do! ^.^**

***Cody- Australia. His short little cameo. **Clubba- Another enemy of Browser's troops.**

**There may be typos in this, but I don't have time to go over this chapter today, so I might fix them later on. Also, this chapter is sort of... Lame? I'm aware. It's mostly due to the fact that the more important stuff happens next chapter, so... I tried, alright? It's hard writing to my full potential when the majority of this particular story was written on an itouch. My computer-typed stories (like my current Spamano fic) are usually much better, and I can only hope that I might get a chance to actually type these in the next few weeks.**

**Lastly, please continue to read and review! Hope to have the next installment finished soon! **


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